The Concept That Helped Me Rewire My Mind and Elevate My Life

Let’s talk about a concept that actually changed my way of thinking and living. This shift helped me be less hard on myself, which ultimately changed my life.

We explored a range of modalities, from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), mindfulness practices, and more. These discussions happened before COVID, so the mainstream emphasis on mental health wasn’t as widespread, but even then, there was already a wealth of information available. Mental health was something I was extremely passionate about, and I was always drawn to these conversations.

One day, we were specifically talking about CBT, and someone said something that hit me hard:

"Your first thought is your conditioning, your second thought is who you are. You're not responsible for your first thought, but you are responsible for your second thought and any action you take."

Y me quedé como que, wow, I needed to hear that. It changed how I saw my own thoughts and behaviors.

For years, I had been on a journey to rewire my mind, shedding layers of religious, cultural, and societal conditioning that no longer resonated with me. It’s something we all go through at some point—hopefully. We start questioning the things we were taught and begin focusing on becoming the person we actually want to be and the best version of ourselves.

Understanding Conditioning and Your True Self

When I first heard that your first thought is your conditioning, I realized how much of what goes through our minds isn’t truly us. It’s influenced by how we were raised, what society told us, and the beliefs we absorbed over the years. Pero lo bueno es que, your second thought—that’s the real you. That’s the you who is in control, who chooses how to respond. That’s where real growth and self-improvement come in.

Embracing CBT and Rewiring Your Mind

The beauty of CBT is that it helps you understand these layers of conditioning and gives you tools to reframe your thoughts. Once you realize that you’re not responsible for your first thought, it takes a lot of pressure off. You stop blaming yourself for negative or unhelpful thoughts and instead focus on the second thought—your true self—and how you want to respond.

This shift in mindset allowed me to be kinder to myself and opened the door to elevating my life. I stopped being so hard on myself for the initial thoughts that came up. Instead, I learned to focus on the actions I could take and the mindset I wanted to cultivate. Self-compassion became a huge part of that journey.

Rewiring Your Mind: Tools and Practices

If you’re also on a journey to become the best version of yourself, aquí te va otra cosa: It’s a process, and it takes time. Whether you're working on your mental health, challenging your limiting beliefs, or shedding societal expectations, the key is to keep showing up for yourself. CBT helped me, but there are many ways to start rewiring your mind:

• Mindfulness Practices

• Journaling to reflect on your thoughts and emotions

• Therapy or coaching for deeper self-exploration

• Meditation to quiet the noise of daily life

No Estas Sola, Remember That

For so many of us who grew up Latina/Hispanic in the U.S., navigating life between two cultures is hard. It’s like constantly being tugged in opposite directions. We grow up in households where collectivism reigns, where the family is everything, but we’re also surrounded by a society that teaches us hyper individualism—to always put ourselves first. And then there’s the heavy presence of machismo and marianismo, religious expectations, and the pressures to conform to traditional gender roles. How do we reconcile these messages?

Maybe you grew up in a home where religious trauma was real, where guilt was used to keep you in line, and where your dreams seemed impossible, or even selfish. Maybe you didn’t have examples of healthy relationships or models of the kind of life you actually want to live. Tal vez sentiste que eras la única soñando en algo más. How could you want more when you were told over and over that what you had was “enough”? That querer más was selfish, that you should be humble and agradecida for what you have, even when deep down, you knew you were made for something bigger.

Growing up the way we did, many of us felt the tension between the life we were told we should live and the life we truly wanted. We were taught not to talk about money because it was the root of all evil, and not to dream too big because that wasn’t “our place.” ¿Cuántas veces hemos escuchado "eso no es para ti"? Maybe you felt shame and guilt for even thinking about stepping into a life that looked different from your parents’, and their words only reinforced that shame.

But let me tell you something: the way you grew up isn’t the only way.

Break Free From Machismo, Marianismo, and Religious Trauma

There are many ways to live life, y no hay nada de malo en vivir tu vida a tu manera. You’re allowed to dream bigger than the box you were raised in. You’re allowed to step away from the conditioning, from the expectations of marianismo, from the old-school gender roles, from the fear of not being enough or being too much. Y sí, puedes tener más. You can live the life you dream of, even if no one in your family has done it before. You can break cycles, and you can define what success looks like for you.

For my bilingual Latinas out there, trying to navigate life between two cultures, know this: the process of self-improvement and mind rewiring is something we all go through. You’re not alone in this journey. We’re all out here, shedding layers of what we were told we should be, embracing who we truly are—sin miedo al éxito. It’s not an easy process, but it’s a necessary one. As we grow, we step into the versions of ourselves we’ve always known we could be.

This journey isn’t just about survival—it’s about thriving. There’s no shame in wanting more. There’s no shame in leaving behind what no longer serves you. Tú puedes. Whether it’s shedding the weight of religious guilt, moving past outdated ideas of what a woman “should” be, or breaking free of machismo, we’re here, doing the work. You’re allowed to take up space. You’re allowed to be your own person, to create your own path.

Recuerda: we belong everywhere. We belong in the boardrooms, in the creative spaces, in the tech world, in the arts, in luxury, in abundance. ¡Todo se puede!

So, let’s keep showing up, shedding what holds us back, and stepping into who we are meant to be. Let’s keep thriving—sin miedo al éxito.